I can't make this stuff up!

I am so frickin tired.  I just want to lay down and sleep.  But sleep won't come so I decided what the heck, why not get up and waste some time working on the website.

Here's my strange thought for the day.  My last serious boyfriend left me because I wouldn't marry him.  He told me,"I'm going to be a married man, and if that means not with you, so be it."  I didn't really believe him until he didn't speak to me for 6 weeks and then this awful realization came over me and I realized,"Holy crap, I've been dumped."  That was 2 and a half years ago.  To make matters worse is I found out through the grapevine that he just got married.  So I guess he did mean it.  Coincidentally, I guess she's a shrew, but I hope the best for both of them, and I honestly mean that.  Sure there was a part of me that was hoping he would fall apart and not be able to live without me.  But I need to get over myself.  In the grand scheme of things, I need to realize that everyone makes their own bed, sometimes you have to lay in it.

Which brings me to my thought for the night. A couple of weeks ago one of my other ex's called and made me an offer.  I thought maybe he wanted to try things out again, but  no, I was wrong.  What he wanted was a roommate, straight up.  I hadn't talk to this guy for about a year, and he just comes out of nowhere with this,"If you think you can live with me and marry me, I would get back together with you." 

One of the reasons we split up was because he was constantly trying to get me to live/marry him.  I dated a guy for 7 years and didn't do it, what makes him think I would do it for someone I barely knew?

I almost felt mad for a moment when he said, "And if  you don't want to be married/live with me, I'll do it with someone else."

What the hell does that statement right there tell you?  He's not in love with me or cares about me.  He just want to be in his own ideal situation. SUCKS!

And it doesn't bother me so much as their both stupid asses, but why do they have to cramp into my life.  So if you're reading this, and you know who you are, go ahead, do it.  Please invite me to your wedding because I would love to come and wish you all the best. 

Truely.  I realize we are two different people and maybe we are better off apart.  Just remember one thing.  You know what hell is?  It's the chance you had to do something different, but you didn't do it.    

So here is the hilarious act of the day.  We have this guy in our office and he hasn’t dated a whole lot.  He’s 28 years old and he just doesn’t know a whole lot about women’s health.

Anyways we were sitting around talking about getting an IUD and he just doesn’t get what we are talking about.  So we look it up on the Internet and show him the diagram and he still is like,” I don’t get it, how’s it work.”  So the conversation went like this:

Me:  well I think that when one of those sperm starts swimming towards the egg, one of those arms just whaps it on the back of the head, like a soccer goalie.

Him:  Well what if you have a real determined one?

Me:  Like at college football games when they run on the field and take down the field post?

Him: Yeah!

As if this isn’t funny enough then we were explaining that there’s a string attached to it so you can check its placement monthly.

Him: So is it like the cord on a lawn mower?  Is that how you get the thing started?  I sure don’t want to know where the exhaust comes out of.

Let’s face it folks, someone take pity on this guy and just marry him for f*** sake.  He’s never gonna get it and now we know why.

Have a great night. 

Coneja

So here is my beef for the day.  I got this friend, and as I’ve said before some aren’t stable financially or mentally, who called me at 6 am this morning.  Now mind you, I am usually up at this point in time, so that not my beef. 

My beef is this.  He’s bitchin’ to me about this and that and I’m thinking, “What’s the real problem here.”  So come to find out he just got a job and he works with these young kids (19 year olds) and one of them got mouthy him yesterday and he got all in his face about it and now he just doesn’t know how today is going to go.

So I’m laying here in bed thinking, ”who the hell is the adult in this situation. (He’s 39)?”

I had a friend along time ago and he was an awful employee, pretty much a jerk, but every once in awhile something smart would come out of his mouth.  So we were all sitting around one day bitching about life in general when he said,” You know Coneja, the only reason we are half as responsible as we are today is that somewhere along the line some understanding adult took pity on us, gave us a break, and took the time to try to invest in our future and make us a good person.”

Do I really need to say anything else?  I realize in can be challenging at times to take the time to teach, not just young people, but anyone how to do something or to stand back and take a second look before we go and shoot our mouths off and sound stupid, but someone’s got to do it folks.  It’s easy to say someone should do something about that, the hard part is actually deciding that person needs to be you.

Anyways, Here is my evil act of the day.  I am going to paint stars and moons in invisible glow in the dark paint on my friends wall.  He’s always talking about aliens and space so I now this will really freak him out the first time (and probably every time) he sees this.  Just thinking about it is putting a smile on my face.

Have a great afternoon.