I am so frickin tired.  I just want to lay down and sleep.  But sleep won't come so I decided what the heck, why not get up and waste some time working on the website.

Here's my strange thought for the day.  My last serious boyfriend left me because I wouldn't marry him.  He told me,"I'm going to be a married man, and if that means not with you, so be it."  I didn't really believe him until he didn't speak to me for 6 weeks and then this awful realization came over me and I realized,"Holy crap, I've been dumped."  That was 2 and a half years ago.  To make matters worse is I found out through the grapevine that he just got married.  So I guess he did mean it.  Coincidentally, I guess she's a shrew, but I hope the best for both of them, and I honestly mean that.  Sure there was a part of me that was hoping he would fall apart and not be able to live without me.  But I need to get over myself.  In the grand scheme of things, I need to realize that everyone makes their own bed, sometimes you have to lay in it.

Which brings me to my thought for the night. A couple of weeks ago one of my other ex's called and made me an offer.  I thought maybe he wanted to try things out again, but  no, I was wrong.  What he wanted was a roommate, straight up.  I hadn't talk to this guy for about a year, and he just comes out of nowhere with this,"If you think you can live with me and marry me, I would get back together with you." 

One of the reasons we split up was because he was constantly trying to get me to live/marry him.  I dated a guy for 7 years and didn't do it, what makes him think I would do it for someone I barely knew?

I almost felt mad for a moment when he said, "And if  you don't want to be married/live with me, I'll do it with someone else."

What the hell does that statement right there tell you?  He's not in love with me or cares about me.  He just want to be in his own ideal situation. SUCKS!

And it doesn't bother me so much as their both stupid asses, but why do they have to cramp into my life.  So if you're reading this, and you know who you are, go ahead, do it.  Please invite me to your wedding because I would love to come and wish you all the best. 

Truely.  I realize we are two different people and maybe we are better off apart.  Just remember one thing.  You know what hell is?  It's the chance you had to do something different, but you didn't do it.    

So here is the hilarious act of the day.  We have this guy in our office and he hasn’t dated a whole lot.  He’s 28 years old and he just doesn’t know a whole lot about women’s health.

Anyways we were sitting around talking about getting an IUD and he just doesn’t get what we are talking about.  So we look it up on the Internet and show him the diagram and he still is like,” I don’t get it, how’s it work.”  So the conversation went like this:

Me:  well I think that when one of those sperm starts swimming towards the egg, one of those arms just whaps it on the back of the head, like a soccer goalie.

Him:  Well what if you have a real determined one?

Me:  Like at college football games when they run on the field and take down the field post?

Him: Yeah!

As if this isn’t funny enough then we were explaining that there’s a string attached to it so you can check its placement monthly.

Him: So is it like the cord on a lawn mower?  Is that how you get the thing started?  I sure don’t want to know where the exhaust comes out of.

Let’s face it folks, someone take pity on this guy and just marry him for f*** sake.  He’s never gonna get it and now we know why.

Have a great night. 

Coneja

So here is my beef for the day.  I got this friend, and as I’ve said before some aren’t stable financially or mentally, who called me at 6 am this morning.  Now mind you, I am usually up at this point in time, so that not my beef. 

My beef is this.  He’s bitchin’ to me about this and that and I’m thinking, “What’s the real problem here.”  So come to find out he just got a job and he works with these young kids (19 year olds) and one of them got mouthy him yesterday and he got all in his face about it and now he just doesn’t know how today is going to go.

So I’m laying here in bed thinking, ”who the hell is the adult in this situation. (He’s 39)?”

I had a friend along time ago and he was an awful employee, pretty much a jerk, but every once in awhile something smart would come out of his mouth.  So we were all sitting around one day bitching about life in general when he said,” You know Coneja, the only reason we are half as responsible as we are today is that somewhere along the line some understanding adult took pity on us, gave us a break, and took the time to try to invest in our future and make us a good person.”

Do I really need to say anything else?  I realize in can be challenging at times to take the time to teach, not just young people, but anyone how to do something or to stand back and take a second look before we go and shoot our mouths off and sound stupid, but someone’s got to do it folks.  It’s easy to say someone should do something about that, the hard part is actually deciding that person needs to be you.

Anyways, Here is my evil act of the day.  I am going to paint stars and moons in invisible glow in the dark paint on my friends wall.  He’s always talking about aliens and space so I now this will really freak him out the first time (and probably every time) he sees this.  Just thinking about it is putting a smile on my face.

Have a great afternoon.

I love my friends becAuse their stupid ideas are great fodder for some late night conversations, but this new one is fantastic.  We always tease about the aliens because anyone in their right mind has to know there are other life forms in the universe.  And whether we can consider them intelligent is really kind of based on how we consider ourselves to be intelligent.  And let me tell you folks,  if they are watching us, we ain't putting on such a convincing show.

Anywho, their new theory is that the aliens are somehow associated with the asian population.  Their facial features and and their intelligence and their capacity for technology and  efficiancy has all got to be out of this world based. 

Don't laugh folks,  it could be a a real theory somewhere, where people don't quite understand anything and still think ain't is a word.  It's up to the rest of us who do understand to try to expel these theories and spread some education.  And try not to laugh when they tell you these things.

P.S.  The light at the end of the tunnel may be you...or it could be a train.

So here is my epiphiny for the day, 'you don't get to choose the people that you help."  I was watching "Malcolm in the Middle" and for those of you who missed it , it was halarious.  But the older brother had this to say and at a time when I was only thinking of border and how horrific my travel schedule was for the week, it stopped me in my tracks.  Merely because I have had all these loser friends around me all my life and I have tried to be a conduit  in their life to a better life to no avail and most of the time it's me who comes out on the bottom end of these attempts.  When my other friends question me about this I always tell them, "Just because you outgrow your friends, doesn't mean you give up on them."  So as ironic as it may seem I actually had one of them confront me about this today.  I had worked all night and not had an easy night, I was tired, I was hurting, and I was trying to drive home and stay awake while talking to one of them and she asked me, "Why do you even talk to me?  Don't you realize I will always be one of those people who will never be right?  Whose never gonna be a complete person and who will always need to have someone around, even if it's not you.  WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO BE MY FRIEND?" 

I got nothing.  And at the time I really didn't think about about it until I got some sleep and then I heard,"You don't get to choose the people you get to help."  Maybe that's it.  Maybe all the great people in life haven't taken the path they would have preferred, but one that was developed through a process by themselves and others.  Maybe it's not the good things you think you do, but the one's you do without knowing that they are the ones that form who you are and what you're about.  But then again what do I know?

P.S. I cleaned up at the track this weekend, so for those of you I owe, get ahold of me.  For all others, GET A JOB  AND GIVE ME SOME MONEY! 

Well, the weather sucks today, work sucks, but here's the exciting thing that happened yesterday.  One of the older ladies in my office offered to take me to go get my vehicle as I had dropped it off to get serviced.  Whenever one of us has this done they are the appointed Cherry Limeade fetchers.  It’s crazy, the way office dynamics work themselves out, but that’s a subject for another day.  Anyways, we drive through Sonic to get 5 of these bad boys, but they don’t give us a carrier.  So we asked for one and we waited, and waited, and finally decided we could make it back to the office without spilling them if we were careful.  We drive up to the stoplight, and we stop. We’re just sitting there waiting for the light to change when my friend decides the light had turned green, so she proceeded into the intersection.  I saw that the light was still red and I said, “Jean, what the hell are you doing?”  She looks up and says, “Well, it was green a minute ago.”  I turned to the right and looked to see if cars were coming towards my side of the car.  Sure enough there was, a sheriff’s car.  The minute he turned the lights on, Jean started to freak out.  She wanted to pull over right then and there, but I told her to get to the gas station and pull over there.  So there we were no seatbelts on, holding five cherry Limeades.  He walks up to the car and says to Jean,”Ma’am, do you know why I pulled you over?”  Here’s the conversation:

Jean:  Yes, I do.  I started through that light but it turned red before I could get completely through.

State Patrolman: No it wasn’t.  The light was never green.

Jean:  It wasn’t?  I thought it had turned green.  I didn’t see any cars coming so I thought the light had turned green.

State Patrolman:  I had the green light.  That’s how I know the light was never green.

Jean:  I’ve been driving for 50 years and that is the first time I have ever done that.

State Patrolman:  License and registration please.

So while he’s writing her ticket I tell her to get her seatbelt on.  He comes back.  She get’s a warning.  I would have already been in jail.  I hate her.

So HE calls me last night and he was like someone new.  First of all he is usually winey and clingy and needy.  Three traits I just do not like.  Anyways, he was totally different.  He actually sounded like he had grown a set of huevos.  So he's trying to convince me to give him another chance and he's telling me, "I miss you.  If you were here, I'd do ya?"  As rude as that is, it was so funny I had to laugh.  Here's another classic one:

Lorenzo: Talking to you gives me twinges.

Me:  Where?

Lorenzo:  In my crotch.

This is one classy guy, No? 

Today I filed reports I had had stacking up on my desk for what seemed hours  I can't take it any more!  It's too mboring.  I have figuired out that I haven't filed reports since June.  That's not good.  But I am caught up now.  Here's the interesting tales of the day.  The other day when we were driving back from Omaha, I had three of my staff member with me.  I don't know how we got on the subject but one of them is pregnant .  Anyways since one of my staff people is very, how should I say, opiniated, she was telling us how if you ate duck while you were pregnant with a male child, the child would come out homosexual.  I have never heard anything so ridiculous in my life but this person was adamant that she was right.  This was the first of a couple of doozies she shared with us. Here are two more:

1. There was a lady who was pregnant with twins.  She gave birth to a female and five years later the little girl gave birth to her own twin.  This one is just plain silly.
2. When her mother was giving birth to her, there was a lady who gave birth to something that looked like a piece of meatand it had a finger sticki8ng out of the mass and the finger was wiggling.  While there is some medical truth to this, I don't think the finger was wiggling.

And what do you say when someone is telling you this stuff "Um, No, I don't think so."  I thought those were interesting thoughts.  Feel free to comment on any of the above if someone around thinks the same.

On a totally unrelated event, HE hasn't called at all today.  I don't know how I feel about this.  On the one hand I am not part of the craziness.  On the other hand, I worry about him.  O well, life goes on.  However I haven't seen my Friend Anita  for about 3 weeks.  What's up with that?  That's not like her.  I think I'll call the jail tomarrow to see if I can find her.

SO he calls me today.  What is up with that? and he asks me if I don't want him to call me anymore.  Let's see, he's been rude, obnoxious, and crass, to the point my sister threatened him with physical violence.  He is ofish and clumsy, but it's hard for me to pass judgement on him because I have my issues to.  At what point do you say,"this person is more messed up that I am and I can't deal with their crazyness anymore.  I e-mailed him back and told him to not be stupid , but not to say it if he didn't mean it.

So, I guess we'll see.  He will either  A)get pi****, or B)Give up!  We'll see.  I'll write more later.  (P.S.  Let's all say a little prayer for all those out there who might need it tonite.  Someday it could be one of us.)

This whole week sucked!  We had to be in Omaha for staff training.  It was one of the most excrutiating expieriences ever.  First we get there and no one wants to be there.  Then Terry Shiavo dies, then the Pope dies.  It was awful.  The only good thing was our afterhours stuff.  We went to the casino (and lost), we went shopping and got some killer buys , then we went dancing and I got punched, so I'm not sure whether or not it was a good time or a bad time, but either way, it's over.  I will post pix later on.

So check this out, this was my last weekend and as I have said before.  I can't make this shit up.  So the guy I've been seeing, Lorenzo, like I said before he can be a real sweet guy, but sometimes he can be a real butthead.  Our plane were to go to the horse races, then to visit my family.  It's about a 2 hour drive to get there, but it's all interstate so no big woop. I have come to beleive that he may have a few issues, but who doesn't.  Anyways, we're driving down the interstate and some one cuts him off.  So he goes ballistic and gets in front of this guy and slams on his breaks while we were going about 80-85.  This makes me unhappy so I told him if he doesn't behave I will do something equally as stupid.  He told me I better not but being the stubborn person that I am I started thinking.  He drives one of those great big jacked up Bubba-Redneck pickup so semi's can see right in.  So I told him,"I'm gonna take all my clothes off."  He immediately starts yelling at me saying, "you better not, you better not." Wrong thing to tell me.  So I drop my pants and he sees that I'm wearing my Spongebob underwear.  He hates my Spongebob Underwear because he says it make him feel like a pedifial(?) so I told him I had thrown them away after our last fight over them.  I really didn't throw them away, I just told him that to shut him up.  I was out of underwear that day so I just threw them on and forgot I was going to be with him that day.  So he starts going of about me lying to him again and I snapped .  I said,"Fine then.", grabbed his pocket knife, cut them off of me, rolled down the window and threw them out the window.  He shut up after that, but I told him I would get out and hitchhike home if he didn't stop his sh**. He told me he wasn't going to stop then, so I told him to just wait.  I'll write part two later.

I added a new Photo Album of our Work trip to Chicago.  Me and my staff went.  The days were long but we had alot of fun.  We ended up going to the Pink Floyd Laser show the last night we were there, then to the female impersonator's show.  We had originally planned on going dancing till four in the morning, but by midnight we had had to much Crown Royal. 

The trip Home the next day was long,but we still had alot of fun.

Okay, here I am.  I'm at home with the "King Of the Hil"l Marathon on and I'm listening to Matchbox 20 "Mad season".  I went to the bar after work and had a few drinkis, but I came home to take a breather.  The guy I am sorta currently seeing is on his way over.  His name is Lorenzo and he is, for lack of a better term, unique.  Sometime he's sweet and wonderful.  Othertimes he's an a**.  Not because he wants to be, I seriously think he has some mental health issues, but who doesn't?  I know I can be a challenging person to deal with at times. However, I try to keep my life in perspective. I pick my battles, and he is too cute to fight with for too long.  I can still remember the first time he told me,"you know, I just never really noticed how beautiful you are.  When you were standing in the doorway, it just came to me."  How am I supposed to be mad at this guy?  One the other great one liners he's given me is," The night just seems so much shorter whenever you're here with me." And if that doesn't convince you how about,"Sleeping next to you is just like sleeping next to a flower."  I ask you, how do you get angry with someone who can be that charming.  He can be so awful. But then again, in one moment, he can be so wonderful.  I got to get over this.  I haven't lived this long and not been married and not had kids to have someone convince me relationships are worth my time.  I hope he cheats on me.  With my best friend or my sister, then I know I will have all the ammo I need to fend off the advances of this supposedly well meaning male.  I need to go get my laundry and fold that, then who knows.  Maybe he'll be here, then again maybe not.  Report in later.

In exactly 8 minutes I start on m y three day weekend.  Often times I will take my payday off and take a three day weekend.  Why?  Because I can..  My first stop is the bank, but then I have to meet my friend at the bar.  She's been there waiting for me for an hourt and a half, but I had to finish my work day.  I will update later tonight on my adventure.